Are We Wise or Just Cranky?

The older I get, the less patience I have—for stupid people.

I know that sounds rude. But hear me out. The biblical word for “stupid” in this case is “foolish.” It has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with spiritual integrity. Fools are described throughout Scripture as people who make ill-advised or selfish choices, who don’t listen to godly counsel or do what the Bible says.

We all have a little bit of foolishness in us. That’s the sin nature.

But some people grab hold of their foolishness like a life jacket. As a general rule, they truly believe their way is better than God’s way, or worse, they don’t see the difference. And those are the people the Bible says to avoid.

“Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on their lips” (Proverbs 14:7). “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20).

So when I say I have less patience, I mean I’m learning not to waste my hard-fought wisdom on clogged ears. Don’t give your pearls to pigs, Jesus says (Matthew 7:6). And there’s something about growing older and more experienced in this world that makes me less and less inclined to spend time with anybody who isn’t either directly or indirectly making me a better person.

That in itself is wisdom.

And yet I wonder. Is it also pride?

This is a question I posed to my wise friend Amber last week.

We know humility and wisdom are intrinsically tied in Scripture, I told her. The wiser I get, the stronger my convictions about right vs. wrong, value vs. frivolity. But when those convictions drain my patience with people I’ve filed on the “wrong” side, that starts to look like pride. And pride is the opposite of the humility wisdom requires. It’s a conundrum.

In other words, I asked, “Am I a wiser woman these days, or a judgmental old bat?”

That is the midlife question.

And I’m not sure I have a tidy answer. So I landed on the same conclusion I usually do:

Grace. Mercy. Love.

That is who Jesus is. And that is what He wants from us. 

Sometimes love looks like overlooking an offense (Proverbs 19:11). And sometimes it means refusing to enable foolishness (Proverbs 26:4-5).

The trick is knowing which to dish out when.

I’ll tell you what Amber said—speaking of walking with the wise.

“I think humility is recognizing who God is and responding accordingly. He has a lot of patience for foolish viewpoints. His patience will end one day, though (2 Peter 3:8-10).”

So does becoming older and wiser mean also becoming a curmudgeon? No. Although some days it’s tempting.

Wisdom means losing tolerance for anything that dishonors God, while also growing our capacity to wait on the Lord to do what only He can do.

Perhaps wisdom means simply getting out of His way. And remembering all the times He chose to be patient with us.

So, my fellow midlife cranky women. We’re not wrong wanting to cast out foolishness—ours and our capacity for other people’s. Nobody’s got time for that. But we’d be wise to cast it upon Jesus, who was once patient enough with our cluelessness to nail it to the cross. 

Some day we’ll stand before Him and our true wisdom will be complete. And I don’t think it’s going to look like a big robe of congratulations. 

It’s going to look like worship.

“Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God for ever and ever. Amen!” (Revelation 7:12)