Here's the Friendship That Will Never Fail

Nobody will ever convince me that online friends aren't real friends.

Last weekend, six women from six different states met at an Airbnb in Chattanooga. We'd been building relationships through Zoom calls and Voxer messages for years—fellow writers and encouragers connected through my online coaching business. It was the first time we'd ever stood in the same room together.

When we hugged in person? We already knew each other.

Heart to heart. Soul to soul. No awkward small talk, no fumbling for common ground. We picked up mid-conversation like we'd been meeting for coffee every Tuesday for a decade.

Distance doesn't make friendship less real. It just makes the in-person moments sweeter.

Connection, whether online or face to face, is something every human soul craves.

We all want to be known.

Not just seen—known. Known in the way someone remembers how you take your coffee. Known in the way they can tell from your text that something's off. Known in the way they celebrate your wins without an ounce of envy and show up in your losses without being asked.

It doesn't matter if you're a work-from-home writer like I am, a homemaker, a corporate wiz, or somewhere in between. The longing is universal. We're wired for relationship by a God who is in relationship with Himself—Father, Son, Holy Spirit. We were created in His image to be known and to know others.

So how do we find our people?

Like-hearted sisters are drawn together by shared values, not just shared interests. We might bond over book club or spin class or soccer teams. But the friendships that go deep are built on something more—seeing the world through a similar lens, sharing the same priorities, caring about what matters most.

Your people are out there. Sometimes three states away. Sometimes in unexpected places—online communities, church small groups, the sidelines of your kid's game, the break room at work.

We just have to be willing to look beyond the surface. To share our real selves, not just the polished version. Because being known requires being knowable. And honestly that’s not easy. It’s scary, and people don’t always reciprocate or respond the way you want them to.

But can I tell you what anchors me on the days when I feel unseen or misunderstood?

I am already known. And so are you.

Fully, completely, intimately known—by the God who created us, who numbered the hairs on my head and yours, who sees every hidden corner of our hearts and loves us anyway.

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar... For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made... Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:1-4, 13-16)

God knows when we sit and when we rise. He perceives our thoughts. He ordained our days before we lived a single one.

You are not invisible to Him.

I'm not minimizing the ache of loneliness because heaven knows it’s real. God created us for community on earth, and when we lack it, the pain is true. Likewise, when God drops friendships in our laps like only He can—whether online or in person—those are pure gifts. A reminder of how much He loves us.

When we feel unseen or misunderstood by people, God still sees us. He understands each of us in ways we don’t even understand ourselves. 

And when we start from that foundation—when we remember that our deepest need to be known is already met in Christ—we can approach human relationships with open hands instead of fear or grasping. We can show up as our real selves without performing. We can keep looking for our people because the search isn't desperate. It's hopeful.

So if you're reading this and you feel alone, you're not, really.

Your people are out there. Keep looking. Keep showing up. Keep being brave enough to share your real self. Let’s hold a breath of awe-struck anticipation for what God will do.

But remember: You and I are already known by the One who matters most. The God who created you sees you completely—your dreams and fears, strengths and struggles, hidden hopes and quiet disappointments. And He loves you. Not despite who you are, but because of who you are.

That's the friendship that will never fail.

And when you live secure in being known by God, you'll find yourself more equipped to know and be known by others.

Maybe even by five women from five different states who stay up late chatting and eating snacks and sharing throw blankets on the sofa you like they've known you forever.

Because in the ways that matter most? They have.

And so has He.