How to Be Grateful When You Don't Feel Grateful

I’ve been talking to several friends lately who aren’t feeling the “thanks” in Thanksgiving this year. 

For some of them, the big kids aren’t coming home, so they’d rather skip turkey dinner and speed ahead to Christmas. For others, extended family visits are tense and awkward, so the obligatory gathering around the table feels more like torture than a treat.

And for many people, it’s just been a hard year. Hard news, hard changes, hard to get up every morning and do it all again… and there just doesn’t seem to be anything to feel thankful for.

What do we do with Thanksgiving then?

We thank God anyway.

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.” (Habakkuk 3:17-18)

Sounds near impossible, right? Especially when you understand the context of Habakkuk’s life.

He witnessed his nation crumble into widespread violence and injustice, while God appeared to do nothing about it. Habakkuk complains, and God doesn’t say, “It’s okay, Habakkuk, now that you’ve brought your concerns to me, I’m going to fix everything right now.” On the contrary, God tells the prophet He’s going to allow the wicked Babylonians to invade – so basically things will get worse before they get better.

But God also reminds Habakkuk that Babylon will eventually get its due. Hardship may appear to reign for a time, but it never wins in the end. And what matters most, regardless of circumstances, is a person’s faith in the midst of trial.

“See, the enemy is puffed up; his desires are not upright—but the righteous person will live by his faithfulness.” (Habakkuk 2:4)

It might seem cruel that God would test our faith through heartache. But we either believe He is good or we don't. And if we believe He is good—which Scripture tells us again and again He is—then we have to trust that even what looks bad is somehow being used for our good.

Habakkuk eventually came around. He didn’t wait until his circumstances improved to choose gratitude. In the end, he didn’t say, “When things get better, then I’ll be thankful.” He trusted God had a purpose even for the dry season in his life, and he rejoiced anyway.

Because gratitude isn’t a feeling we wait for. It’s a choice we make.

 Can I challenge us this season? There are still blessings to be found in hard times. Maybe your kids aren’t coming home for Thanksgiving, but you get to video call them. They’re healthy and happy and they love you. Those are tremendous positives.

Maybe your extended family is a pile of dysfunction but you get to show up trusting that God will equip you to shine His love across the table. Even if the only bright spot in your afternoon is the pie, then be grateful for the pie.

There is always a positive among negatives. Always.

So if you're heading into Thanksgiving feeling empty, exhausted, or even resentful—you’re not alone. And you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just being honest about where you are. God has tremendous compassion for your heartache. Yet with the Holy Spirit in your life, you can choose gratitude anyway. You can remember that God is good even when life doesn’t feel good.

And we just might find we have more to be grateful for than we realized.