Let's All Stop Asking Graduates This Question

It’s the question everyone asks a high school graduate or college student: So what are you going to school for?

In other words, what are you planning to do with your life?

As if every young person should know.

Some kids have a dream, a clear path set out before them. But many just… don’t. And the “what do you want to be when you grow up” question that was cute when they were in kindergarten is now a source of anxiety and shame. Because what if they really don’t know? Does that make them somehow broken?

No. It makes them human.

Young people aren’t the only ones who wrestle with this question. Adults pivot career tracks all the time. In my own life so far I’ve worked in the music industry, healthcare, marketing, and now Christian publishing. My husband started in construction, transitioned to finance, and today he’s a business consultant at a state university. Oh—and he used to play pro baseball. So, yes, we veteran grown-ups can attest: There’s no such thing as a straight-line life plan. Why do we expect a college kid to own one?

A wise mom once told me, “Don’t ask them what they’re planning to do. Ask what they hope to try first.” And that advice has stuck with me.

God might move our kids along a winding path between college and retirement. Even the students who are bent on a particular career can discover detours down the road. That’s not weakness of conviction, it’s strength. Remaining open to God’s leading is the best thing any of us can do when it comes to vocation, purpose, relationships—everything.

So if your child is uncertain, feeling directionless… if you worry they’re going to waste their college experience drifting without a defined purpose… be encouraged. God already knows their purpose, even when they don’t. And He’ll guide them to it.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)

Sometimes we get stuck thinking the “good works” God has in mind for us is like a target we’re at risk of missing. But that’s just not true. Our God is so much more gracious than that. “There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord,” (Proverbs 21:30). He weaves our choices and our doubts into something purposeful. We can’t mess up His plan.

So how can a mom, auntie, grandma or mentor help the young adults in our lives? Let’s remind them God isn’t looking down on them, tapping his toes, waiting for them to get the clue. He’s allowing a time of exploration. God gives them free will to try different fields of interest, not just in high school and college but throughout their working years. They just have to start somewhere.

A degree doesn’t determine a life. It only provides an entry point. The path ahead is wide, full of possibility, and covered by God’s grace. He walks with them wherever they go.