Are We Having Any Fun?

My daughter came home from college last weekend, and I realized she’s living her best life—and mine, too.

We sat on the sofa together while she scrolled through pictures on her phone, showing me all the adventures she’s been on lately, all the daily normal that I don’t get to witness firsthand anymore. The roommate shenanigans, the coffee shop smoothies, her date to a pumpkin patch with a cute new guy from the art department. All the big and small moments that make up a life away from home. 

And with each picture, one word kept popping out of my mouth: fun! 

Trick-or-treating in the dorm halls: fun!

Hanging out with friends in the music theory lab: so fun!

Watching the Miller Park fireworks from her apartment window (World Series in Milwaukee and she’s there to live through it, are you kidding me??): fun, fun, fun!

And it got me thinking. When was the last time I had that kind of fun?

As a young adult, my daughter shoulders plenty of responsibility. She’s juggling 24 credits this semester alongside a classroom clinical, tons of rehearsals, and a campus job. It’s not like she isn’t familiar with time management.

But me? I’m an “expert” adult, as she would say. I’ve been at this grown-up thing for decades, and Time Management is my middle name. 

I manage to stuff 80 hours of work into a 60-hour work week. 

I manage to supervise a homeschooled teenager, orchestrate her transcript, schedule her college tours, attend her horse riding lessons, and get her to the dentist on time. 

I manage to pay the bills before their deadline, walk the dog every morning, share the load of cooking and cleaning with my husband, with whom I manage to engage in meaningful conversation every night (or most nights, anyway… he’s just as “expert” at adulting as I am). 

But looking through those pictures on my daughter’s phone, it became soberingly obvious that the difference between her life and my life is that she still manages to make time for fun. And I can’t remember the last time I left the house to go anywhere but the grocery store.

It’s a rut, and I’m stuck in it.

Are you stuck, too?

As midlife women, we might not have the same energy our kids have at age 19 or even 30. But we can add fun to our priority list. There’s no rule against it, in fact, I’d say God wants us to enjoy life, not just manage it.

The book of Proverbs supports this. In chapter 8, we learn that wisdom—personified as “Lady Wisdom”—was present at the beginning of the world, when God “set the heavens in place” (verse 27). Wisdom was God’s companion. She saw Him craft the mountains and the seas, she was there when Adam and Eve were made from dust and bone. And what did she do? 

She enjoyed it.

“Then I was constantly at his side. I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world and delighting in mankind.” (Proverbs 8:30–31)

To be a wise woman is to delight in this life. To have a little fun. And I’m afraid I’ve forgotten the importance of it as I’ve gotten older.

Have you?

Let’s take a page from my daughter’s book. Work hard, but make time for play. Take life seriously, but also take it down a notch every so often, because constant stress isn’t good for anyone. God created this life for our enjoyment. And I want to honor Him with my work and my rest.

So next time my college girl comes home for a visit, I’m going to whip out my own phone pics. Mom and Dad on a date. Mom hanging out with her book besties at book club. Mom dressing up the dog in a Brewers jersey because, you know, he’s our very own World Series champ.

And I hope you’ll do the same. We’re on this adventure together: you, me, and Lady Wisdom. Pretty sure she’d say, we’ve got this.